Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
