Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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