Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize