i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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