you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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