so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
