A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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