No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your penis caused this!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
