i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
