He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
