my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
