some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize