grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
