I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
