Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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