Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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