Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
