In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
