If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
