Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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