I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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