Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
