It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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