i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The power of my boobs compel you
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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