so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
