THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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