He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
