I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
