you guys were way drunker than both of me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
