If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
