I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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