yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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