so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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