so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
