In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
birth control should be required to get into college
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
