I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
