I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize