I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
