Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
