upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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