Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
