I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize