You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
