Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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