Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you told grandpa to call you daddy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
