Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
