Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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