i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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