just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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