I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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