She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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