Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
