i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
