Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
