So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
