Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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