I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
