I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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