He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
