I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
