Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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