I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
